10 Ways to Break Up with your Roommate

All though we all wish that our roommate is going to be our best friend, the best man or maid of honor at our wedding, it doesn’t always turn out like that. Disappointment can happen with anyone – your best friend or a random roommate. Sometimes you just gotta break up with them. Here are ten ways to do that and survive:

1. Text them

You hate confrontation? It’s understandable – no one likes to crush someone’s hopes and dreams. If you wanna be that guy, just send them a quick text.  They’ll probably forgive you.

2. Take them to Lunch

There is no better way to soften the blow of heartbreak than a full belly. Take them out to Buns, get them a good burger, and wait until their mouth is full so they can’t say anything back.

3. Use your RA to Set Up a Meeting

Sometimes you need a mediator. If you don’t mind having another person to listen to the conversation, they could help soften the blow. Who knows? Maybe with the RA there, you can work out your differences and be roomies after all.

4. Send them this Blog Post

‘Nuff said.

5. Tell them they should go to the Roommate Mixer.

Casually send them this video and see what they say.

6. Lie

Tell them you’re moving far far away and can never see them again. You’re OBVIOUSLY  going to miss them but a long distance relationship would never work out.

7. “It’s not you, it’s me!”

This is actually pretty valid. Not every pair is meant to live together. Sometimes the person you’re living with is great, but you just can’t handle the fact they leave your room a mess. Sometimes you just have really specific needs they can’t handle. If you have a weird pet peeve, it’s obviously not their fault, you just need to find someone to satisfy you.

8. Tell them a Joke

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Not your roommate!”

Burn.

9.Make them Dump You

Just be so bad that they tell you they want a new roommate.

“Oh really? That’s too bad, but it’s probably for the best.”

10. Be Honest and Real

Okay, numbers 1-9 may or may not be the best ways to break up with your roommate. More than anything, you just need to be honest with them. Remember, they are people too, and you guys have already had a pretty unique experience together. They deserve to be told kindly. Just sit them down one day and tell them exactly why you guys working out. Not to mention, if you’ve been feeling kind of bad about rooming together, chances are, they feel the same way. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.

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That’s it, folks. Obviously some of these are a little more light-hearted – and that’s just to let you know that this process doesn’t have to be the most stressful thing in the world. Be nice, be respectful, and just do what you gotta do.

On the other hand, if you find yourself on the side of being dumped, really consider coming to the roommate mixer on November 6th on the Great Hall hosted by Carolina Housing. It will be in the style of speed dating where you get a chance to ask someone a lot of questions in a limited amount of time before moving to the next person! It’ll be a really fun, and even if you don’t find your roommate, you’ll definitely find some friends.

Good luck!

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